careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
where does the pee come out of this thing
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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