Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
