That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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