I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize