Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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