I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize