VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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