Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
