Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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