i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
