I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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