thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
