I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
