He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
