You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
