mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
