What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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