OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
