she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
