My nipple is on Facebook.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
