i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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