there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
nutella sex= disaster
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
