Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
