they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
