i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
