My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize