It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She told me I should be a condom model.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
