she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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