She said her name was "party"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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