I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
