so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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