ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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