took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
