There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
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I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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