You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
