I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
