I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
