I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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