Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
