I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
