I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
this boner is exhausting
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
