Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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