In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
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It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
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wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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