my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I believe in your delicious
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize