So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
