Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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