Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
