One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
