If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
