Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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