Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I lost the right to judge tonight
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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