Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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