i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
