It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
