when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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