i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
