it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
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I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
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Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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