she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
