Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
