it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
